"I've never been this high in a tree before. Me either, you can see for miles from up here. I'll say! I'm glad we're up here. That was quite a crash, wasn't it? Calvin and Hobbes are sitting on a tree branch. Calvin comments about never having been that high in a tree before. Hobbes notes that you can see for miles. Calvin says that was quite a crash, as we see the wagon lodged into a lower branch than the one they're on."
The rain stopped! This is the best time to go wormmucking. Let's go! What's that? It's when you walk on the pavement and much all the worms. Calvin happily notes that it's stopped raining. He tells Hobbes this is the best time for wormucking. Hobbes asks what that is. Calvin explains that you walk on the pavement and muck all the worms.
"Calvin, quit charging around the house!! Smash! Bink bonk boom. What did I just tell you?!? Beats me. Weren't you listening either? Calvin and Hobbes are running through the house as Mom yells for them to stop it. Suddenly, there are sounds of crashing. Mom asks Calvin what she had just told him. Calvin replies that it beats him, wasn't she listening either?"
"Bang! You're dead! No I'm not you missed. I did not! You cheater! I'm here talking to you aren't I? Ok, then ... bang! My, what a miserable shot you are! Calvin and Hobbes are playing. Calvin shoots Hobbes and claims that he's dead. Hobbes says that Calvin missed. Calvin calls Hobbes a cheater, but Hobbes tells him that he's standing there talking to him. Calvin shoots again. Hobbes tells Calvin what a miserable shot he is."
"Hurry up, Calvin, our reservation is for 7:00. Can Hobbes come to the restaurant? No. why not? We're afraid he might eat someone. Let's go. That's right you probably would wouldn't you. I can never stay on a diet in a restaurant. Dad yells to Calvin to hurry up. They have a 7:00 reservation. Calvin wants to bring Hobbes along. Dad explains that Hobbes would probably eat someone at the restaurant, so he can't come along. Calvin tells Hobbes that he probably would do that. Hobbes acknowledges he can never stay on a diet in a restaurant."
"Arr! Look alive. Ye scurvy scalliwags! Thars a frigat to board! Run up the skull and crossbones! Prepare the plank! Our ship is a plank. And you're going to walk it, wise guy! Pirate Calvin yells for his crew to prepare. There is a frigate to board. He calls for the raising of the skull and crossbones. He calls for the preparation of the plank. Hobbes tells him their ship is a plank. Calvin tells Hobbes, the wise guy, that he'll walk it."
Wap! Thok! Poom. Wunk. Nice double play. Who's out? It depends are you on my team or am I on your team? Calvin and Hobbes are playing baseball. Calvin hits the ball and runs. They throw the ball back and forth a few times as Calvin runs. Calvin tells Hobbes that was a nice double play. He asks who's out. Hobbes tells him it depends if he's on Hobbes' team or if Hobbes is on Calvin's team.
"A bee landed on your back! A bee?! Acckk! Get it away!! Don't move, and it won't sting you. Just stand still and try not to imagine that it might very well crawl down your shirt and into your pants! He imagined it. Hobbes tells Calvin not to move because a bee landed on his back. Calvin squirms around and wants Hobbes to get it off. Hobbes tells him to be still and not imagine that it crawls down his shirt and into his pants. Calvin jumps way into the air as Hobbes comments that Calvin imagined it."
"Ok, let's flush it! Flush. Ha ha ha. Hee hee! That was great! Let's do it again! Flush. I don't want to know what he's doing do you. No, let's go check. Hobbes places the end of the toilet paper roll into the toilet, and Calvin tells him to flush it. As they flush it, toilet paper unrolls into the drain. Calvin and Hobbes heartily laugh. They decide to do it again. Downstairs, Mom tells Dad she doesn't want to know what Calvin's doing. Dad says he doesn't either, so off they go to check."
"I've had trouble choosing a new hobby. First I wanted to collect bugs. Then I wanted to collect stamps. What did you decide on? Stamped bugs. Calvin tells Hobbes he's had trouble choosing a new hobby. He thought about collecting bugs, then stamps. Hobbes asks what he decided on. As Calvin raises his foot, he tells Hobbes stamped bugs."
"Everbody I know has either cable TV or a VCR! They can watch anything they want! But me? I have to watch dumb ol' summer repeats! I have to watch the same garbage over and over! How cruelly we mistreat you Calvin. ... so then he gave me 'Oliver Twist' to read, and said I might identify with it. Rats ... and 'Sorority Row Horror' is on cable tonight. Calvin complains that everyone has cable TV or a VCR. He rants on about having to watch summer repeats. Dad comments on how cruelly mistreated Calvin is. In his room, Calvin tells Hobbes that Dad gave him a copy of 'Oliver Twist' so that he could identify with it. Hobbes is upset because 'Sorority Row Horror' is on cable."
"I got a helium balloon. Very nice. I'm going to stand on this ladder and let the balloon carry me up and away. Nothing's happening. Try jumping. See? There goes the balloon and you didn't hang on. Calvin tells Hobbes he has a helium balloon. Calvin is going to stand on a ladder and let the balloon take him up and away. Nothing happens. Hobbes suggests he jump off the ladder. Calvin does, and promptly plows his face into the ground. Hobbes notes the balloon has, however, flown into the sky. He says Calvin should have held on."
"Flush! Whee! Ha ha ha! I'm done with my bath. Mm ... that was quick. Calvin stands naked in the toilet. He flushes and spins around. He hops out, walks by Mom, informs her he's done with his bath. She believes that was a little too quick."
"Calvin, quit horsing around! Hobbes is crowding me. This is my half of the seat. Got it stripeypants? That is your side! You stay over there! I see that!! Calvin, I'm trying to concentrate be quiet. Hobbes poked me. I don't care what Hobbes did! Just be quiet until we get out of this traffic. Hee hee! Stop it you heard Dad! Hoo hoo! Gkpthb! We're going to get in trouble. Mmp mp! Hee hee! Hee hoo ha hee ha ha! Calvin! I thought I said I wanted it quiet!! We were having a weird face contest Dad. But we're all through now. You won. Dad is trying to concentrate on his driving. There's lots of traffic around. Calvin and Hobbes start making faces at each other, trying to get each other to laugh. As they're laughing, Dad turns around and yells at them that he told them to be quiet. Calvin says that they were having a weird face contest, but that fit's over. Dad won."
"What's all the rukus?! You're supposed to be asleep! And what's with all these feathers?! Are you tearing up your pillows?! It was incredible Dad! A herd of ducks flew in the window and molted! They left when the heard you coming! Honest! Nice alibi, frizzletop! No dessert for a week! You want another pillow across the kisser? I didn't hear you offer any brainstorms! Dad pokes his head into Calvin's bedroom and wonders what all the ruckus is about. He sees feathers in the room. He asks Calvin whether he's tearing up pillows. Calvin clarifies that a herd of ducks flew in the window, molted, and left when Dad came in. After Dad leaves, Hobbes angrily notes there's no dessert for a week due to the bogus alibi. Calvin retorts that Hobbes wasn't offering any brainstorms."
"You see, Hobbes. I have a water balloon, and you don't. I therefore have the offensive superiority. So you have to do what I say. What do you think of that? I think I'll take this stick and poke your balloon. That's the trouble with weapons technology. It becomes obsolete so quickly. Calvin boasts to Hobbes that he has a water balloon, while Hobbes doesn't. Calvin has the offensive superiority. He asks Hobbes what he's going to do about it. Hobbes thinks he'll pick up a stick and poke Calvin's water balloon. As Calvin stands soaked with water, he notes that weapons technology gets obsolete so quickly."
"Oh my gosh, Hobbes! Don't move! What? What is it? The biggest ugliest fuzziest caterpillar I've ever seen is about to chomp your bottom! Aaugh! Kill it! Kill it! Youww! Wham! You know what your problem is? You've got no appreciation for physical humor. That's what! Calvin tells Hobbes not to move. Hobbes asks why. Calvin explains the ugliest, fuzziest caterpillar he's ever seen is about to chomp Hobbes' bottom. Hobbes yells for him to kill it. Calvin stomps on Hobbes' tail. Hobbes yells in pain. As Calvin is chased by Hobbes, Calvin tells Hobbes he has no appreciation for physical humor."
Where are you going? I'm going to walk to the other side of the lake. What's the bucket for? To drain the lake. Calvin is walking by with a bucket in his hand. Hobbes asks where he's going. Calvin replies he's going to the other side of the lake. Hobbes asks what the bucket is for. Calvin tells him it's to drain the lake.
"You know what I like about summer days? They're just made for doing things ... even if it's nothing. Especially if it's nothing. Lying under a tree, Hobbes tells Calvin that what he likes most about summer days is that they're made for doing things. They continue to lie under the tree as Hobbes says even if it's nothing. Calvin adds that it's the case especially if it's nothing."
"This looks like a great place to catch a crawdad. What will we do with it if we catch one? Well that's one thing we don't need to worry about. You don't know what one is either, huh? Standing by the edge of the water, Calvin says this looks like a great place to catch a crawdad. Hobbes asks what they'll do with one if they catch it. Calvin says they won't have to worry about that. Hobbes asks Calvin if that means he doesn't know what a crawdad is, either."
"Hobbes. You didn't bring your swim trunks here to the beach! No, I prefer 'furry dipping.' Yaaaaayy! Ow ow ow hot hot hot hot! Aaaaaahhhhh! Sploop splop. Brrrrrr! Cold cold cold. Ow ow ow hot hot hot hot hot. Don't tell me we drove an hour and a half for this! The family has gone to the beach for a getaway. Calvin and Hobbes run across the sand. They yelp with pain from the hot sand. Finally, they reach the water and jump in. And right out they come, yelping with pain from the cold of the water. Then, they again yelp with pain from the hot sand as they return to the car. As Dad points to Calvin and Hobbes sitting in the car, Dad tells Mom they haven't driven an hour and a half for this."
"When are we going to get our vacation site? I wanna be there! Calvin, it's an eight-hour drive. We're not even out of our state yet. It's going to be a while relax. How much longer now? I told you we should have flown. From the back seat of the car, Calvin asks Mom and Dad when they'll be at the vacation spot. Calvin is told it's an eight-hour drive and they haven't left the state yet. They tell him to relax. Calvin looks out the window. He asks how much longer now. Mom and Dad both say 'I told you we should have flown'."
"There's a restaurant coming up. Want to stop? Only if they have hamburgers. Hamburgers? That's all we've eaten this whole stupid trip! Hamburgers, hamburgers, hamburgers! I'm sick of hamburgers! We're eathing something else for once! Ten million bottles of beer on the wall, ten million bottles of beer ... ok! Ok! Here's a hamburger joint! Are you happy?! Still on their trip, Dad points out there is a restaurant coming up. He asks if anyone wants to stop. Calvin replies 'only if they have hamburgers'. Dad rails about how all they've eaten on the trip are hamburgers. He wants to eat something else for once. Calvin breaks out into singing 'ten million bottles of beer on the wall'. Dad gives up and tells Calvin they're stopping at a hamburger joint."
"I have to go the bathroom. Calvin, we just pulled out of the restaurant can't you wait? Think of something else. All I can think of is Niagara Falls, and the Hoover Dam, and Noah's Ark, and ... ooh boy, now I have to go! Next year I swear I'll just take a vacation by myself. Calvin tells Dad he needs to go to the bathroom. Dad mentions they've just left the restaurant. He wants Calvin to think of something else. Calvin can only think of Niagara Falls, Hoover Dam, Noah's Ark. Suddenly, Mom decides she needs to go, as well. As Dad sits in the car at the gas station, he thinks he'll take a vacation by himself next year."
"This trip was excruciating thank goodness we're here. Eight hours crammed in a car with a hyperactive six-year old! What an ordeal. Well, now Calvin can run and scream all he likes. Ahh, what a great little place. I'm bored when are we leaving? You're bored? Would you like me to show you how an anchor works? They finally arrive. Dad is rehashing the excruciating trip. Eight hours with a hyperactive six-year-old. At their lakeside campground, Dad says Calvin can run around and scream all he wants. Calvin promptly tells Dad that he's bored. Dad puts his arm around Calvin and offers to show Calvin how an anchor works."
"Ahh! Another glorious sunrise. And not a soul around! This is the life! A brisk swim at dawn. A morning out in the boat ... and by 9am I'm back with freshly caught fish for breakfast! The day's hardly begun! What a vacation! Ugh ... I've seen cheerier faces at the office. You eat your dead animals. All I want is some coffee. Why isn't there any TV up here? I hate this place. Dad gets up in the morning to greet the sunrise. He's happy to have an early swim and a morning on the boat. By 9:00, he's back with the fish he's caught for breakfast. As he comes to the table with his cooked fish, Mom is huddled over a cup of coffee. She tells him to eat his dead animals, she wants coffee. Calvin wonders why there isn't any TV in the camp."
"Dad, look! I caught a fish! Hey, that's a big one. I'll show you how to clean it and we'll have it for dinner. Clean it? Cut off its head and gut it. Mmm! Pass me another of these great cheese sandwiches! Ha ha. No bones in these right? Calvin catches a fish and proudly shows Dad. Dad comments on what a big fish it is, and that he'll show Calvin how to clean it so they can have it for dinner. Calvin has never heard of cleaning fish, so Dad explains that you cut off its head and gut it. At the dinner table, Calvin is helping himself to another cheese sandwich. He happily comments on their being no bones in them."
"Guess what's short and ugly and wet all over! ... give up? The answer had better not be what I think it is ... squirt squirt squirt squirt! Yow! Squirt squirt squirt squirt! Bang bonk bing! Calvin! If you're going to tear around do it outside!! Okay, okay ... Calvin and Hobbes are having a squirt gun fight in the house. They chase after one another and wrestle throughout the house. Finally, Mom tells them that if they're going to tear around do it outside. Calvin and Hobbes sit on the step, looking out into the yard."
"Wow, look down there! I think that's the dim outline of a whale! I think that's a rock. And that must be a giant eel slithering up from the bottom! I think that's a weed. I'll bet this is the mast of an old spanish galleon, sunk hundreds of years ago. It's a branch. Man, this is boring. I wish there was a movie theater some place. Calvin and Hobbes are out in the canoe. Calvin sees the dim outline of a whale. Hobbes thinks it was a rock. Calvin sees a giant eel slithering up from the bottom. Hobbes thinks it was a weed. Calvin sees the mast of a Spanish galleon sunk hundreds of years ago. Hobbes says it's a branch. Calvin comments on how boring it is, and that he wishes there was a movie theater nearby."
"Want to go fishing? Sure. Fishing is one sport I really like. I can see why ... it's so contemplative. There's another one!! Calvin and Hobbes decide to go fishing. Fishing is one sport Calvin really likes. Calvin is on the end of the fishing line, held up by Hobbes' pole. Calvin has a bat in his hand and is trying to hit the fish. Hobbes says he understands since it's so contemplative."